Sharks in the Water
by Carter Schoffer
Why am I paying full price for a club that I can only use half of?
Isn’t having a womens section akin to reverse sexism? No, never mind the reverse part, it is segregative gender-based discrimination! Someone call a lawyer, my rights are being violated!
If women have their own side and the panty-waist men have taken over the main area, where can I lift real weights?
You want to know of a sure way to tell whether a girl is easy? She’s easy if she works out in the main area. Think about it, if she performs her workout in the main area and not the women’s area it’s because she wants attention and definitely gets down.
The above collection of claims, observations, protestations and politically incorrect suppositions are but just a few quips I’ve overheard (and a couple I’ve even thought) in my time attending facilities with women’s only areas.
It’s no wonder she isn’t making any real body comp changes, all she does is cardio.
You don’t lift weights, sweetie. You play with pink trinkets.
Why are women afraid to lift real weight?
Why are women afraid of performing real exercises? They spend all their time standing on a bosu ball performing 30 rep dumbbell biceps curls.
Have you seen what they have in the women’s area? They seriously have pink dumbbells, a couple yoga mats, a smith machine and 300 cardio contraptions.
These, like the first set of remarks are the tip of the iceberg of similarly themed commentary coming out of the mouths of male gym goers and internet keyboard jockeys. And like the first set, I find myself in partial agreement. After all, while the genders certainly have special needs, hard work and effective exercises are commonalities. Commonalities that theoretically would lead one to posit that one large well equipped space should accommodate both genders without the need for special treatment.
Unfortunately, this isn’t the case. Why? Because there are sharks in the water. And I’m not talking about any old shark, I’m talking about Great Whites. Friggin’ predators.
Fellas, seriously, by and large women go to the gym to workout. They might go to socialize or to feel better about themselves, but they don’t go to get picked up — main area or otherwise. It’s hard to grasp, I know, but lululemon pants aren’t the international sign for stare at her ass and opine on the merits of feeling the pump. And as hard as it is to believe, the squat isn’t an in — you lame, unoriginal Carcharodon carcharias.
So, now after being told this, is it any surprise that women avoid exercises that risk exposure to your suggestions? Or a shock that they aim to avoid you whenever possible?
I know, I know you’re just trying to be the nice guy and offer advice, right? Well, my man, the last time I checked, women do stop and ask for directions. If she needs help, she’ll ask. But be aware that she probably won’t ask you. Why? Because you’re wearing a smeedium sized ‘beater and grunting like a fool while staring at her ass, that’s why!
So please fellas, resist your carnal delusions and let the women of this world workout in peace. Maybe then they won’t feel so overwhelmed that a separate section is required. Maybe then they’ll be able to workout confidently & comfortably with proper equipment and effective exercises.
